Flabbergasted
I hate not knowing. I hate to ask 'why' and 'why' and 'why'.
People say curiosity kills the cat. And maybe I'm bordering to smothering by what I did. But I just hate not knowing! I hate to be kept in the dark when I am directly involved in the situation. I couldn't care less if it's not affecting me. I couldn't concentrate, and that is a weakness. I couldn't continue with what I'm doing when my mind is still searching for the answer.
Only last night I was talking with my housemate and I told her, nowadays I rather not ask 'why' because sometimes things happen just because it happens. Hmm.. so much for being optimistic.
I hate the fact that I was the reluctant one in the beginning and end up being the one who keeps on trying to make it work. Such is my life. The thing is, I'm a person who takes things as a whole when I do something. Do I take life seriously? I do, when it is important to me. I do, when the people involve means a lot to me.
I guess whatever I do, I'm at the losing end. Such is my life. Maybe I'm taking this too seriously. Maybe it was meant to be a passing fancy. Maybe it's nothing and my hyper imaginative mind just at its best/worst. I have learnt a lot these past years, and yet I still am a sucker. Hmm.. Such is my life. When you always want to see the good side of people, you tend to be disillusioned. And you're not prepared when the worst thing happens.
So today, I resigned. I shall keep quiet and see if the ball comes back to my side of the court. If it doesn't, well... life goes on.
"Maybe it's nothing... Maybe it's all in my mind... Maybe I'm foolish... Maybe it's just a waste of time..."
People say curiosity kills the cat. And maybe I'm bordering to smothering by what I did. But I just hate not knowing! I hate to be kept in the dark when I am directly involved in the situation. I couldn't care less if it's not affecting me. I couldn't concentrate, and that is a weakness. I couldn't continue with what I'm doing when my mind is still searching for the answer.
Only last night I was talking with my housemate and I told her, nowadays I rather not ask 'why' because sometimes things happen just because it happens. Hmm.. so much for being optimistic.
I hate the fact that I was the reluctant one in the beginning and end up being the one who keeps on trying to make it work. Such is my life. The thing is, I'm a person who takes things as a whole when I do something. Do I take life seriously? I do, when it is important to me. I do, when the people involve means a lot to me.
I guess whatever I do, I'm at the losing end. Such is my life. Maybe I'm taking this too seriously. Maybe it was meant to be a passing fancy. Maybe it's nothing and my hyper imaginative mind just at its best/worst. I have learnt a lot these past years, and yet I still am a sucker. Hmm.. Such is my life. When you always want to see the good side of people, you tend to be disillusioned. And you're not prepared when the worst thing happens.
So today, I resigned. I shall keep quiet and see if the ball comes back to my side of the court. If it doesn't, well... life goes on.
"Maybe it's nothing... Maybe it's all in my mind... Maybe I'm foolish... Maybe it's just a waste of time..."
posted by Hajar | 2:55:00 PM
3 Comments:
"Maybe it's nothing... Maybe it's all in my mind... Maybe I'm foolish... Maybe it's just a waste of time..."
Maybe it's everything...maybe your mind is just reacting to something that has been triggered by the situation... Maybe it's not a total waste of time... Maybe you should lay back a bit, observe and as you've said see if the ball comes back to your side of the court...sometimes caring more than usual and wanting to know everything are manifestations of how much we care about the people involved... whatever it is, it's a wise decision to bid your time... take care
maroux: thanks. but that cat in me still wants to know 'why'. haha...
lab: you're far from being preachy. ;-) you're right.
lolz okay then I second the cat in you... hmm now I wanna know 'why' too
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